Remembrance from the past

Remembrance from the past

Today, I received a letter from the Federal Government concerning my old-age pension. They will deduct two years of my pension aspirations (in Germany, I should receive at least a small sum for each year of child education). Since my former husband decided not to pay alimony, I had to work to pay my rent - it was definitely not more than what my son and I needed for a living, and sometimes not even that. Having worked means now that they will deduct money from me. In the same letter they told me that the deadline for objection has expired, so I just have to accept it. I struggled a bit with old feelings like being dependend on the decisions of others and powerless, like I did so often during those days. 

Then I started to count my blessings. I have survived then, and I will now and in the future. The hardest years are over, my son is a grown-up now, and he became a wonderful, strong, clever and creative person - exactly the person I wished he should become. I learned a lot during those hard years, not necessarily voluntary, but I learned. Others may decide about money I will not get, but they do not determine my life. Happiness is an attitude, not something you get granted from others, and in the end, happiness is what counts, not money. In 1979, the King of Bhutan was asked about Bhutan's Gross Domestic Product, and he invented the concept of  'Gross National Happiness', which from this very day was considered to be more important for the people of Bhutan than money. One of the many, many reasons why I would love to make a journey to Buthan one fine day.


Ich habe heute Post von der deutschen Rentenversicherung bekommen. Sie ziehen mir 3 Jahre von meinen (eh schon dürftigen) Rentenansprüchen ab, weil ich nicht nur Kind erzogen, sondern gearbeitet habe. Ja, mein Exmann hat beschlossen, kein Geld zu zahlen und ich musste sehen, wie ich uns durchbringe. Es kamen eine Menge alter Gefühle hoch, abhängig von den Entscheidungen anderer und hilflos zu sein.
Aber dann dachte ich: Ich habe damals überlebt, ich werde das heute und in Zukunft überstehen. Und mein Glück hängt nicht von den Entscheidungen anderer Menschen ab, Glück ist eine Frage der Einstellung. Und am Ende ist es Glück, das zählt, nicht Geld. Der König von Bhutan wurde nach dem Bruttosozialprodukt seines Landes gefragt, und erfand daraufhin das 'Bruttonationalglück'. Einer der vielen Gründe, warum ich irgendwann unbedingt nach Bhutan reisen möchte. Hoffentlich in nicht allzu ferner Zukunft.